This year it is 25 years since I was ordained priest and I have
been in active ministry ever since. I held a little gathering recently and reflected on what I have learnt in 25 years. It
largely isn’t great.
I have learned that I have not got any
better at what I do but I have learned to cope with my failings, perhaps a
little better.
I have learned that however often I tidy my
office at home it will always get messy again.
I have learned that even if I write
reminders in my diary I always prepare at the very last minute
I have learned that I forget a lot of
things and my memory is not getting any better. I meet people in Sainsbury’s
and know I know them but can’t remember their name. Often I remember just after
they’ve gone.
I sometimes forget to turn up to meetings
but not very often.
I have learned that our buildings are a
blessing and a curse – I love showing people round, I love the “wow”, I love
being able to go on the roof at St Phil’s… I don’t love the constant feeling
that I need to work on a funding bid and having to unblock the toilets and put
the chairs away and I know it shouldn’t always rely on me but when I’m the one
who is here and the toilet is blocked right now, I unblock the toilet!
I count it a privilege to be with people at
profound moments in their life. To be with people as they die and to visit a
new baby.
I still sometimes cry after a funeral and
occasionally during it. I still love doing weddings and am immensely grateful
for my own marriage. I love doing baptisms in all the crazy ways they come to
us, the gorgeous little babies, the screaming babies, the toddlers who don’t
co-operate, the youngsters who ask big questions, the adults who really commit
and the adults who aren’t sure but want to be baptized.
I have learned that it is usually good to
say yes and usually bad to say no but sometimes I should really have said no.
Perhaps it is okay to say no to doing a wedding on Christmas day! But I hope
that I always remember the primacy of Love. I believe in a God of love who is
at the heart of everything and calls us to love. I have grown to love the
community I find myself in and its people. Yes I sometimes get annoyed but I
try to remember to love people and usually the more you get to know them the
more you love them.
So thank you for putting up with me. I am
constantly in need of your forgiveness and the forgiveness of God but despite
my own failings I have loved doing what I do. I pray that sometimes God has
been at work in me and that somehow together we make the love of God a little
more real.